Garden Gnomes

I have five gardens. Not that they are vast, but there is more than enough room to place a garden gnome or two.

Mum bought me and the twins some garden decorations: a frog and a cat each having wobbly heads and two little do dads. I let the twins place them in the garden. I said that they could put them anywhere they would like. This was the result:

Sarah's Lunch

Oh no! Will there be enough?!

This will do!

The Gospel According To Elizabeth

We went to church yesterday. Mum took the kids to Sunday school and they learned about Easter. At dinner, Bethie gave us a summation of all she learned. Here's Bethie's version of the Easter story:

The man broke the bread and became Jesus. He had many followers who were jealous of him. That's why they wanted to hurt and kill him. When they succeeded in this task, they wrapped him up and locked him in a polar bear cave. Jesus is very scared of polar bears! The women came twice looking for his body but the bad guys had taken it to Heaven. In Heaven, God lets Jesus eat chocolate and watch Dora DVDs well past his bedtime.

Bethie then wanted to know if she was dying. She also wanted to know if Sam's (the little boy at daycare) followers were going to hurt him. At one point, Katie yelled at me "Why don't you love God?!". I said "I do love God.". She asked "Then why do you say "Jesus!"?".

Whatever happened to discussing butterflies and hopscotch at dinner? Needless to say, we will not be going back to church until after Easter.

Cereal With Winston Churchill

There was an almighty battle between me and Bethie this morning. We both channelled Winston Churchill. I thought : "Victory at all costs, victory in spite of all terror, victory however long and hard the road may be; for without victory, there is no survival". Bethie's mantra was "Never, never, never give up".

It started off innocently enough. I said "Good morning, babies. Let's go and get some breakfast". Katie thought this was an excellent idea, Bethie saw this as a Call to Arms. She would, under no circumstances, come downstairs. After an hour and a half of me pleading, begging, bribing, and threatening (yup, threatening), there was no movement. She would periodically shout down demands like "Carry me downstairs!" or "Change the program Katie is watching!". I was becoming desperate. Finally, I said with all the conviction I could muster "If you don't come down here by the time I count to 3, I will haul you over my shoulders like a sack of potatoes and take you to Emilie's in you pajamas and without any breakfast!". Nothing. I called Dan at work hoping for some advice or support. He said as though it were painfully clear "Just carry her downstairs". Although I was losing, I would be damned if I was going to carry that child downstairs.

Then I heard something. I held my breath. She was coming downstairs. I didn't want to jinx it so I just froze. She came almost all the way down. Bethie said "Pick me up". And do you know what I did? Yup, I picked up the child and carried her the rest of the way downstairs. Good ol' Winston also said "Success consists of going from failure to failure without loss of enthusiasm". That basically sums up my parenting experience.

"Springtime"

Technically, it's spring. It was a wee bit chilly on Sunday, but we decided to take the kids out and run them. We walked to the local park, which they call the "Emilie Park".

Sarah got her first ride on the swing. Didn't enjoy it as much as I had thought she would. Bethie quite liked having Sarah in the swing next to her.

Katie wanted to push Sarah. That was fun until I was told to take Sarah out and put her in!



We all took turns raking the lawn. Bethie is pictured. Dan took down the Christmas lights (Dad, apparently one doesn't have to wait until July!)


The twins dug up my garden while I finished the raking. Katie was tired by this point and needed to sit on my rock while she dug.I tried to explain to them that the plants aren't dead, they are dormant. Therefore, don't dig them up or walk on them. I need to have the same discussion with the mail man!

A Cherry With A Stick

Bethie needed to have "cherry ice cream". We bought her vanilla ice cream and put a cherry on it. NO! We bought cherry ice cream. NO! She demanded to have "cherry ice cream with a stick". I was stumped. Until she was watching Toopy and Binou and saw a cartoon ice cream sundae and frantically pointed it out to me. That was my "aha" moment.

I spent Saturday morning on the Internet trying to find a restaurant that would serve a sundae with a cherry with a stick. I ended up calling Perkins and speaking to the 17 year old male "chef".

Me: "I saw a picture on the Internet of sundaes at Perkins. The cherries have stems. Is that just the ad or can I really get a cherry with a stem?"
Teen: "Huh?"
Me: "It's terribly important to me that I have a cherry with a stem on an ice cream. Do you have cherries with stems?"
Teen: "We have them with or without stems" (what variety offered by Perkins!)
Me: "If I came today, could I get a cherry with a stem?"
Teen: (not sensing the importance of this moment) "Yeah".

Triumphant! Bethie and her "cherry ice cream"!

Katie got one, too!


Bethie was kind enough to share her ice cream with Granny.

Katie didn't share with anyone!

The Dance Recital

Katie in her element!

Bethie loves the ribbons.

Katie in the foreground, Bethie in the background.

Bethie (left) and Katie. Everyone was supposed to go one at a time. Just like the rest of my family, the girls don't believe that rules apply to them.

Katie (left) and Bethie

Head and Shoulders is a big hit. Bethie (left) and Katie.

Dear Ol' Dad

The twins like to ride horses. Not real horses. They have a rocking horse, horses on a pole, the vacuum cleaner. Almost anything will do. Their favourite horse is Dan. He gets down on all fours and marches them around the house. That was great when their combined weight was 40 pounds. Now that it has reached 70 pounds (and his knees and back are breaking under the weight), he's a bit slower, but he does his best.

The twins went for a "ride" Monday night. Katie shouted "Bethie! Where are we going?". Bethie's response was very nonchalant. She coolly replied "To the glue factory". I laughed until I thought I would die! Dan did not laugh. In fact, the ride ended rather abruptly!

It's Nice To Have A Twin

I think it must be great having a twin. Someone who "gets" you. Someone who knows your history. Someone who will share their chocolate with you. Recently, I discovered another benefit of having a twin.

For the last seven days and nights atleast one of my children has had the stomach flu. Bethie got hit the other night. Just after I put the twins to bed, Katie shouted downstairs "Mummy! Daddy! Bethie is throwing up!". I ran. As I came upstairs I saw Bethie throwing up into the toilet (bless her!) while Katie was gently rubbing her back and saying "It's okay, Sweetie". Awww. Then Katie looked at me, fearing she was in trouble for getting out of bed, and said "I couldn't let Bethie throw up all by herself". Isn't she sweet?!

Sweetness and Light

This week, Katie was sick so I kept the girls home from daycare for three days. Instead of doing my regular routine, I played Leap Frog for 2 1/2 hours, had a "picnic" twice, played camp out, played Hallowe'en, watched The Wiggles 47 times, "baked" cookies (the Pillsbury kind that are pre-made and pre-cut), read 500 stories, and did crafts until my entire house was covered in finely cut pieces of paper. I sent them to daycare today. I am too tired to continue all this fun!

At one point, Katie and Bethie wanted to dress up as "Fairy Princesses". I pulled out their costumes that I had carefully stored away. I produced Bethie's tiara, tutu, wings, wand, and "diamond" bracelet. As I was pulling out Katie's costume, I realised that her wand was lost. She freaked. "No fear", I told her, "as I can make a new one". After two attempts at making a magical wand, I was told what an idiot I was and that I must examine Bethie's wand more CLOSELY. I did what I was told (mostly because Katie was shoving the wand in my face and crying). It was good "advice" because my third attempt at wand building was very successful, especially after I put "pixie dust" (glimmer) on the wand.

My Fashionistas!

There is a little girl at daycare who just turned 4 years old. Emilie is throwing a party for her today (she does that for every child in daycare).

The twins insisted on choosing their own clothes. The results are as pictured.

A Very Merry Un-Birthday

Uncle Bobby came down this weekend. The twins wanted to celebrate his birthday. Only problem was that it wasn't his birthday. Did this slow us down? NO! My friend, Big Sarah, baked him a birthday cake. She forgot to put oil in it. Ha! A kindred spirit! The twins sat on the floor with Big Sarah and licked the bowl. By the time they were done, they were COVERED in cake mix!

I made Twice Baked potatoes, but didn't bake the potatoes completely. Big Sarah expressed some concerned because there were big, hard, unbreakable rocks in my mashed potatoes. I reassured her that the guys wouldn't notice. They didn't.

We had Princess party hats with matching plates. Wiggly candles. The whole works. The twins were thrilled! Bobby, too, seemed to enjoy himself. Whenever he wanted something he would remind us that it was his "birthday" and we had to be extra sweet to him!

As Per Usual....

Uncle Bobby (Dan's brother) came for a visit this weekend. Every time he has visited us since the twins were born, we have taken pictures of him asleep with the girls. Maybe one day I will make him a scrapbook of him and my children. He will be unconscious in every photo!

Nice 'n' WHAT?

I dyed my hair today. Normally, I would go to a salon. However, spending the same amount of money that I could use to buy of 5 cases of Similac just to change the colour of my hair is offensive to me right now. Instead, I bought Nice 'n' Easy.

This is how the instructions should read:

1. All of us at Nice 'n' Easy acknowledge that your intelligence far surpasses our own and that instructions are only necessary for those who lack "common sense". Having said that, read and follow all of our instructions prior to dying your hair. We've done this before - you haven't.
2. Open a window before using our product. Hair dye is a chemical that will burn your eyes, constrict your lungs, and bring you to your knees 3.5 seconds after mixing the dye. Trust us, you're not that tough.
3. If you choose to strip half-naked instead of using an old towel to protect your clothes, close all the blinds upstairs first. Otherwise, you will be confined to the bathroom for the next thirty minutes. You will feel compelled to clean. You will also feeling a little bit like you were tricked into cleaning.
4. The term "stubborn grey hair" is only used to make you second guess yourself for the duration of the dying time. It amuses all of us at Nice 'n' Easy to envision you trying to determine if you hair is stubborn. Grey is grey, dummy.
5. You may get bored halfway through the dying process, especially if you have long hair. Fight this feeling. Otherwise, you will have "mixed results" (and your husband will say "You missed a spot").
6. After you wash the dye out of your hair, you must leave our enclosed conditioner in your hair for 2 minutes. Bring the cleaning supplies into the shower with you. You might as well clean that too as two minutes lasts longer than you think. As a friendly reminder, we advise that you use the conditioner once a week for 6 weeks. However, we only gave you enough to last for 2. More can be bought separately at an enormously expensive rate.
7. The colour of you hair may or may not be the same as that indicated on the box. Surprise! Don't worry, your husband won't notice anyway.

Little Sarah

Feeding Time At the Zoo

Sarah : I showed Dan Sarah's "new trick". I give her a Mum Mum (like a wafer cookie thingy, for all of you who don't spend every minute of every day with babies). She looks at the Mum Mum, throws it and watches me. When I pick it up, Sarah screams with laughter. I did this a couple of times to amuse both Dan and Sarah. Then I put the Mum Mum on the island and went about getting dinner ready. Dan threw the Mum Mum on the floor. Without thinking, I picked it up and gave it back to him. He screamed with laughter. He threw it on the floor again. Trust me, the screaming that was then heard was not filled with laughter!

Bethie : The dessert tonight was cookies (please see previous post). Katie ate all her chicken and most of her broccoli so I let her have a cookie. Bethie hadn't eaten anything. When she saw that Katie got a cookie-pink, no less, that's her favourite colour!- she put every piece of chicken in her mouth at once. Dan had to pull most of it out, and Bethie was forced to eat the chicken at an agonizingly slow rate while watching Katie have a cookie. She was in a panic that none of the FORTY cookies that I made would be left for her. She got her cookie. Then the girls made me pack some up so we can give them to Uncle Bobby when he comes down this week. Sorry Bob.

Katie : Katie was quite happily eating her cookie. I asked her if I could eat her remaining broccoli. She said I could. I put a piece on my fork and noticed that there was something funny looking on it. I put the piece back on her plate, said "What's this gunk?", and ate the other piece she had left. As I was chewing, Katie said "Oh. I sneezed and forgot to cover my mouth." I spat out the broccoli! I knew that there were gross aspects of being a parent, but COME ON! Later it was determined that the gunk was apple sauce, but I am still grossed out.

The Hard Way

I'm good at a lot of things. Most of the things I am good at are the types of things that no one comments on. For example, no one has ever said to me "You did an excellent job of writing me up!" or "Great job at firing that guy. When it's my turn to go, can you do it just like that?". But I do have my strong suits.

Cooking is my Achilles Heel. I do try, without much success. Things just don't work out as anticipated. For instance, today I made sugar cookies and I used my fancy Wilton Cookie Pro Ultra II press which boasts it's "The Best In The World". Here's where I suspect I may have gone wrong:

1. I didn't have white flour so I used whole wheat flour.
2. To disguise the fact that I used whole wheat flour, I used red food colouring to dye the dough pink.
3. It didn't taste right, so I added more sugar.
4. I forgot to add the egg.
5. I chilled the dough which is apparently a faux pas for the Wonderful Wilton Press.
6. I greased the cookie sheet which totally effected how well the cookies come out of the press (who would've guessed that?)

The result? Crappy cookies with rather pretty shapes, but a weird colour. I'll give them to Dan and the girls. They won't notice a thing.

Fancy Shmancy!

Katie, as per usual, woke up first and was dressed before breakfast. She was very excited because Mum had purchased a new outfit for the twins and today was the first day that she got to wear it. Bethie was still in her PJs. Here is the conversation at breakfast:

Bethie: Katie, you have a bow on your bottom.

Katie: Do you love it?!

Bethie: It's funny.

Katie: No. It's fancy!

Of course, Katie had to do a photo shoot wearing her new fancy outfit. It cracked me up! I didn't pose her at all! Her belly looks a bit big. That's because there are about 500 fluffs in her shirt.

The Poncho and the Hat

This is Katie's new favourite outfit. She won't take it off regardless of how hot she becomes. Last night, I had to go into the girls' bedroom after Dan had put them to bed, to remove the poncho and the hat. Also note, she is holding her "Fluffy Purse" in her hand. Katie is very much into clothes and accessories!

Naughty Rainbow!

The twins were never very good at motor skills, fine or otherwise. I would watch my nephews in amazement as they climbed and jumped and put on their boots. My brother, Sean, comforted Dan and I by saying that his kids mastered the "monkey skills". My kids had mastered the "human skills", like talking and rationalizing and thinking things through. We were really pleased. Our girls can't kick a ball very well but they are super smart!

Today, the window in the front door was acting as a prism and casting a "rainbow" into the living room. The twins realised that when they danced in the rainbow, the light picked up on the "shimmer" in their jeans. They had so much fun dancing in the light. Even little Sarah was in there, putting her sweet little hand in and out of the rainbow.

The good times ended when the light wouldn't follow them around the living room or into the kitchen. To solve this problem, they decided to catch the light and throw it onto each other. But they couldn't catch the light. Nothing but anger followed. It was then that I thought, "They don't have monkey skills or human skills. Good thing they're gorgeous!".

Love Thy Sister

The other night, Dan was putting the twins to bed. As they all lay in the dark and had a cuddle, Katie said "Let's talk about how much I love Bethie". Aw, too sweet. Then the conversation deteriorated to Katie proclaiming that she is growing 4 Beth's and 5 Trystan's (Ms Anonymous's 4 year old boy) in her belly. Great. 9 more kids. We've got Octomom beat!

O Happy Day!

Emilie is feeling much better and daycare will be opened on Monday. Yeah! I'll have a break finally....I mean the kids will get some much need stimulation and socialization.