The End of My Rope

Things around here have been challenging.

1. Everyone in the house has been (or currently is) sick. Wake me up in the middle of the night kind of sick. Rush to the doctor's kind of sick. Arrive at the doctor's and act like a healthy kid kind of sick.
2. The roof blew off.
3. The insurance company is dodging my many calls. After two weeks of trying to get in contact with my adjuster, she said, "Climb into your attic and check for damage". Umm, no. Then she said, "I don't understand why you're so frustrated!". It went downhill from there...
4. The amount I have to pay in taxes is shocking. Double what it was last year, and last year I just about had a stroke when I saw the number. I'm pretty sure that Stephen Harper hates me.
5. I have to pay almost $40 so the twinnies can go on a field trip.
6. I also have to pay $4 so they can have a Pizza Day at school. I told the twinnies that they'd better extract that amount from Stephen Harper!
7. Sarah lost/hid her shoes at the museum...never to be seen again.
8. Mum bought Sarah replacement shoes, and now Sarah won't take them off, even to sleep!
9. All the brakes on Dan's vehicle had to be replaced to the tune of $750. I got the pleasure of taking care of this. Dan got to drive my car instead. I missed my car...
10. I need to get a part-time job to pay off the fines at the Ottawa Library. The children lost two books and I have looked everywhere and cannot find them. AHHH!

Throughout this, I kept reminding myself, "When you come to the end of your rope, tie a knot and hang on". And that helped me muddle on.

And then I saw this:

And that, my friends, was the straw that broke the camel's back.

I yelled, and screamed, and pitched an almighty fit. I threatened my children to within an inch of their little lives, and demanded to know who had broken the curtain rod.

All three, who were very unimpressed by my wrath, said "Not me".

Funny, that's the same person who coloured the toilet with marker.

And painted the bathroom floor.

And drew a great big A on my kitchen floor with red marker.

And filled my bird bath with gravel and dandelions.

But what really pissed me off was when good ol' Not Me washed the outside of Dan's car with my (used to be lovely) white towels. To add insult to injury, the towels were left in a wet heap on the driveway...for me  to discover.

I swear, if I ever get my hands on Not Me, I will take that rope that I've been hanging on to and wrap it around Not Me's little neck!!!

A note to those who are worried about the welfare of my little cherubs: I'm not going to kill the darlings, but in 25 years I will go to their houses and do as much damage as I can. And I'm going to do it at 5am. While demanding ice cream.