Tuesday, July 28

The Modern Day Snow White

My girls have decided that they are princesses. Disney Princesses (those of you who know me well understand how much this annoys me!). Bethie has decided that she is "Belle" from "Beauty and the Beast" (which we now have to refer to as "Belle and the Beast"). Katie fancies herself as "Jasmine" from "Aladdin". We sometimes have to refer to them as "Belle" and "Jasmine". A store clerk asked them what their names were, and Bethie replied "My name is Belle, and my sister's name is Jasmine". They have christened Sarah as "Cinderella", and I became "Snow White".

I no longer care. They want to be Disney princesses, that's fine. They want Sarah to be "Cinderella", whatever. The poor child has so many nicknames that I'm not sure that she knows her name actually is Sarah. To tell you the truth, I care so little about being referred to as "Snow White" that I forget that's whom I am supposed to be. Whatever makes my little darlings happy, makes me happy too!

I really wanted a garden gnome. I know, tacky, tacky, tacky! But I wanted one. So I went out and got one. I was pleased as could be when I plunked Norm, that's his name, in the garden. I found the children and showed Norm off to them. Ta da...!

Katie said, "Snow White, you have a dwarf!". Right. I am Snow White and I have a dwarf named Norm. Bethie starting looking for the other six dwarfs. I explained that I only had one dwarf because that was all I needed. I was promptly informed that I was wrong, and was instructed to produce six more.

By now, you should all know me (and my mother)....

When we came across the 7th dwarf, we couldn't decide between the two choices... so we took both!

Transformation complete! I was now Snow White with all my dwarfs (I had to tell the girls that I was fancier than the real Snow White and that's why I get 8 dwarfs. They bought it.). I was pleased and delighted that my girls would finally be happy with all these dwarfs... until Bethie said "But I wanted real dwarfs!".
So, I have my eyes peeled for 7 real dwarfs who will be kind enough to stand in my garden for the sole purpose of entertaining and amusing my children. A warning to any dwarfs who may be interested in applying for this position: Sarah likes to pick up dwarfs by their ears and bounce them around the yard. Little care is provided to prevent injury to either plants or dwarfs.

Monday, July 27

Let's Make A Deal

When I was a kid, I loved the game show "Let's Make A Deal". All I can remember about it now was that the host would ask the audience members for a random item, and whomever found that item in their purse first would be the next contestant. I would definitely have been a contestant!

I recently cleaned out my purse. In it I found: a diaper, wipes, 4 suckers, a Halloween box of Chicklets, wet cloths to clean glasses, a paper clip, a pen that works and one that doesn't, lip balm, a tiara, a bar of soap (unused), a can of iced tea, 4 letters dated February 19 for someone else that each contained a $50 gift card (the gift cards had been used....use it or lose it!), numerous library receipts dating back months, an envelope full of expired coupons, an appointment reminder for the doctor that retired last November, and a children's DVD.

You should see what is in my car!

Sunday, July 26

Bell Canada

Bell Canada drives me crazy. We have the relationship from Hell. They say they are desperate to keep me, yet they treat me so badly. I stay because the "break up", and finding a replacement, is too much effort. We talk about the details of our relationship approximately once a month. I complain, and they try to pacify me with apologies and promises to be better in the future. We both know they're lying. But we go on.

Recently, I received a shocking phone bill of about $200. I couldn't believe it. I hardly ever call long distance. Then I looked at my rate per minute. Bell Canada had charged me 54 cents/minute to call my father who lives approximately 30km away!

Here are some of the places that I could call for a less expensive rate if I were with Rogers: Untied Kingdom, Hong Kong, China, Algeria, Bangladesh, Bolivia, El Salvador (only 28 cents/ minute, Lisa!), Iceland, Iraq, the Ivory Coast, Latvia, Madagascar, Namibia, Palestine, Uganda, Uzbekistan, Vietnam, Zambia... the list goes on and on and on!

What really drove me crazy was that it only cost an extra cent/minute to call Rwanda. RWANDA! Rwanda is struggling politically, socially, and economically. They are trying to pick up the pieces after a horrific genocide. They are the country that the world forgot about and ignored! Apparently, there's not a whole lot of difference between Orleans and Rwanda, according to Bell Canada.

Thursday, July 23

The Toronto Zoo: In Pictures

At last! Here are some highlights from our trip to the zoo! The twins were very impressed with everything...except the animals.
Bethie (left) and Katie right looking at the zebras (more commonly known as "Marty" from the movie "Madagascar")

Katie touching a snake

Bethie touching a snake

Katie thrilled to find a seahorse!

We couldn't drag Bethie away from the seahorse, even to look at real ones!

The girls with their father.

Bethie loved riding the cement elephant!

Katie, enjoying herself too!

The twins really liked this "rug" (it was a leopard at the zoo that was stuffed when it died. Weird, eh?)

Another big hit, the bear paw prints! The girls are roaring like bears.

A wooden bear statue really impressed the twins.

Lunch time! Margie, Bethie, Dan, Big Sarah, and Katie

Dan and Katie on the Zoo mobile. This was the highlight of the visit!
Bethie gave up walking after about 10am. Although we insisted that she walk, every once in a while, one of us would break down.
Bethie (front) and Katie showing affection to the lizard.

Bethie flying.

Both Bethie and Katie got an ice cream cone. Thrilled beyond belief!

Bethie, done for the day!

My Baby

Big Sarah took this picture and held onto it for about a month before I even knew about it. Fortunately for me, Big Sarah inadvertently left her computer at my house and I have copied over a hundred pictures that I didn't have access to!

Wednesday, July 15

Pit Stop

What's worse:
  1. My kid doing her thing on the side of a lonely road at 9:30pm, or
  2. I travel with the potty for moments like these and I took a picture.

Saturday, July 11

Toronto Bound

Dan, the twins, Big Sarah, and I went to Toronto this week (we left the baby with Mum). It was certainly an "adventure". The ride up to Toronto was fine. Big Sarah and I had done oodles of prep to ensure everything would be enjoyable for the twins. The hotel was a hit with the kidlings. The grown-ups thought it was dodgy. We did like having a "suite" with a living room/ kitchen attached. The zoo was good (I'll do a zoo blog another day). The drive home was a nightmare. The memory is still too raw (we arrived home only last night). I'm not sure I will ever be able to blog about that!

Anyway, here is the first day of our adventure.

Picnic in the park. Katie, Dan, Bethie, Big Sarah.

Blowing off steam on the play structure. Lots of fun!

The hotel had a pool so I bought the girls "floaties". I thought it would give them some confidence. It helped Bethie a great deal. Katie preferred to be held constantly. Bethie asked Katie if she had "sinkies" instead of "floaties". In the picture, the twins are posing as ballerinas. I don't know why, it's just something they do.

Big Sarah and Bethie

Katie allowing Dan to do all the work.

Happy Birthday, Big Sarah!

We like birthdays at our house. We never seem to celebrate them on the right day, but we always have good intentions. This week, we celebrated Big Sarah's birthday.

This is Bethie painting a picture for Big Sarah.

This is Katie painting a picture for Big Sarah.

This is baby Sarah really ticked off that she has to paint a picture.

Dan enthusiastically bringing the cake to the table.

Baby Sarah

The Sarahs.

Monday, July 6

My Incidents

I have had "incidents". I don't know if they happen to other people, but they seem to happen to me all the time! It usually ends with me being very embarrassed and having to explain myself.

The twins go through life totally oblivious to anyone else. One day, we were walking down a path and they simply stopped. Coming down the same narrow path, but in the opposite direction, were two feeble, old ladies. As they approached the twins, they tried to navigate around them. I shouted out "Get out of the way, people!". The two old ladies apologized immediately. I had to explain that I was directing that comment at the children and not at them.

Another time, Bethie was crossing our small residential street. She was on one side, and I was on the other making sure everything was okay. She came to the curb just as a car rounded the corner. For safety's sake, I held out my hand like a crossing guard and told her to "Stop!". Both Bethie and the car came to a complete stop. Bethie and the driver looked at me rather expectantly. I explain to the driver that I was asking my child to stop, not simply imposing my own traffic rules on our wee street. He apologized and said "I thought you were talking to me".

Tim Horton's was a real treat. I wanted a coffee and promised the girls that I would get them each a cookie. We took the van (with it's tinted windows in the back). The drive-through took longer than the twins preferred and by the time we got to the counter, they were starting to become concerned that they would never, ever get the cookie that they had been promised. Finally, the clerk reached over and handed me the bag of cookies. As he was doing this, I shouted out "OOOOH LOOK! I have cookies!". He looked at me and I looked at him. In that moment, I realised that he had no idea that I had children in the vehicle.

The latest "incident" happened this weekend. Dan was away and I was (gasp!) alone with the children. To break the monotony and to acquire extra help, I packed up the three kids and went to Mum's house. The children and I immediately headed to Mum's garden. It was a warm, sunny day and we, as well as most of her neighbours, wanted to be outside enjoying ourselves.

At one point, Katie announced that she had to poop. I didn't want to leave Bethie and Sarah outside alone, and I certainly didn't want to drag them into the bathroom with me and Katie. Since Mum's bathroom window faced the rear of her house and the window was opened, I told Katie to go by herself and shout when she was finished. That suited Katie just fine and off she went.

A minute or so passes and I heard the toilet flush. It seemed to me that Katie wouldn't have had enough time to do all that she needed to do. So I shouted out, "Did you do a poop?". There was no response. I shouted up again, but this time really loudly "DID YOU DO A POOP?". My very angry mother replied "No, I didn't. Is that alright?". The neighbours and I agreed it was fine.

The Guy

During the first three months after the twins were born, I was tired. Really tired. I was running on no sleep without the hope or possibility of getting any "catch-up sleep". It was during this time that I would have hallucinations. For instance, I would believe that the twins were multiplying, and I would start looking for the 3rd and 4th baby to feed. I would give loving cuddles to cushions thinking I had a baby in my arms.

One day, I fell asleep on the couch. I woke up to a baby crying. I was exhausted. I opened my eyes and there stood a man at the change table dealing with a baby (not the one crying). I thought "Yay! Dan can deal with the other baby and I can go back to sleep!". But Dan didn't come rushing into the room like I thought he would. In my annoyance, I engaged the stranger at the change table. Here's how it went:

Me: Where's Dan?
Stranger: Who?
Me: Dan
Stranger: Dan?
Me: You know, the guy I hang around with!

The stranger became very angry with me, and then I realised that he was Dan. I was devastated because now I had to get up and deal with the baby. Dan was really ticked off. He said "Is that how you think of me? Am I just the 'guy you hand around with'?". Apparently, people in "loving" relationships don't refer to their spouses as "the guy I hang around with". My defence is that I was exhausted, didn't recognize him, and oh my God get over it!You wouldn't believe me if I told you how many times he has brought this conversation up in the last 3 1/2 years.

Bethie out did me this week.

Dan went out of town to visit his family for a couple of days. The twins were not too happy about this. They pleaded with him to stay. When that didn't work, their anger took over. They were absolutely ticked off that he had left.

On the first night that Dan was gone, I was giving Bethie a cuddle. I said "Who loves you, Bethie?". She replied "Mummy!". I said, "Who else?". After a long pause, she said "The boy who went to visit his Mummy, Daddy, and brother".

Poor ol' Dan got demoted in affections again.