Thursday, March 24

One Hundred Years Old

Bethie is obsessed with death. We talk about it all the time. Not intentionally, but it seems to come up. Tonight, Dan said to the twins, "You can't keep waking your mother up so many times during the night because you're going to kill her". Bethie replied, "Is she ninety-nine, and is her birthday tomorrow?". Because, according to Bethie, only people who are 100 years old die.

My friend's father died. He was far too young. But we allowed Bethie to believe that he was 100 years old. She needed the security of knowing that no one she knows is going to die.

Then Melissa died. She was only 28. Again, we allowed Bethie to think that Melissa was 100.

The mother of a little girl in her class died. We reassured Bethie that this woman was sooooo much older than I am. Because Bethie lies in her bed and worries. I didn't want my child worrying about my death.

I thought I was doing the right thing. I thought I was protecting my five year old girl. Saving her from her own worries. I thought that it didn't matter if I allowed Bethie to believe that people have to be 100 years old before they die.

The kindergarten teacher sent a note home. There is a little boy in the twinnies' class that has just been diagnosed with a tumor on his brain stem. My heart aches for this little boy, and for his family, and especially for his mother. I can't even begin to imagine what this family is going through. His mother is at the Children's Hospital praying for the life of her child. And I am not a good enough writer to convey my sorrow.

All I know is that I don't want to explain to my daughter that children can die, too.

Friday, March 18

X Marks The Spot

Almost everyday, Katie draws pictures of flowers for me. She does this to please me, to show me just how much she loves me. I think that's really sweet of her.

Yesterday, Katie came home from school and gave me this picture:

I told Katie that the flower was wonderful, and I said what a great job she had done, and how pleased I was, and how much I loved her.

Katie said, "Do you see the x?".

I hadn't. She had to point it out:

She said, "That's where I'm going to bury you". No exclamation mark. Just a statement of fact.

What a darling little girl, eh?

In my opinion, she's taking "Be Prepared" just a little too far!

Tuesday, March 15

The Most Wonderful Day of the Year

All three children go to bed at 7pm. No. Matter. What.

OK. Sometimes they go to be a touch earlier if Mummy has had a hard day.

During the winter, there's no problem. The sun is down, the moon is up, and the children believe me when I say it's 7pm. But now that we are into Daylight Savings Time, there's still a little bit light out at 7pm. Bethie has noticed.

I tried to explain to the twins the concept of Daylight Savings. They didn't get it. I eventually said, "The sun stays up longer during the spring and summer, but not you. It's 7pm so OFF TO BED!".

Bethie tried to convince me to let her stay up until the sun goes to bed. I said that I would make a deal with her: she can stay up until the sun sets but as soon as it's dark, she must go to bed. And this rule is applicable for an entire year. Being short-sighted, and only 5 years old, she has happily accepted these terms.


Some people count down the days until their birthday. Some people count down the days until Christmas. I am counting down the days until Daylight Savings Time ENDS...on November 6. It will be like my birthday and Christmas all rolled into one!

Monday, March 14

My Photography Goes Out With the Children

I confess: I take a lot of pictures, especially of my children. Because they're so damn cute:

I'm not a very good photographer, so I feel the need to take lots of photos hoping that I will end up with several good ones in the end. Also, we have a digital camera so I can erase the ones that really suck. No extra charge.

Lucky me, I married Mr. Photography. He doesn't need to waste lots of time taking pictures. Because he's so good, the first shot is typically the best shot, and it is the only shot he takes. Lucky, lucky me.

Dan took the children to see Disney On Ice. They were super excited. I was, too, because this was obviously an excellent occasion to take some snaps of the children. I charged the camera battery, cleared the memory stick, and gave the camera to Dan. Since I wasn't able to go too, I asked him to take lots of photos.

Dan came home and told me all the cute things that the children did. I was thrilled! I asked him how many photos his took. He replied, "Seventeen".

Seventeen?! Before the show started?

Nope. Just seventeen. In total.

I downloaded the camera. There were five pictures of the children:

Katie with her eyes CLOSED
Katie looking PAINED
The diaper bag and the twinnies
Sarah sucking her thumb
Dan's finger and a weird shot of Sarah
And then twelve shots like this:

A blurry image of Mickey and Minnie skating AWAY
Oh look, another blurry image of them ... but at least it's not their backside.
The ice, Goofy, and some legs
I have absolutely no idea
I was really upset. And disappointed. I wanted pictures of the children having a lovely time. I wasn't particularly interested in the skaters. I expressed all of these feelings to Dan, and I think he kind of felt badly.

The next day, the twinnies went to a birthday party at place that had lots of slides and tubes and fun things to do. Dan took them while I entertained Sarah. Know where this is heading, Ladies?

When Dan got home, I asked to see the photos from the birthday party.

Ta da:

HE DIDN'T TAKE ANY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


Because the twins had been to this place TWO YEARS AGO and why on Earth would we need photos of a place that they've already been to?

Because, dear sweet Dan, I want pictures of THE CHILDREN and not of the gym. Because THEY LOOK DIFFERENT. And THEY WERE HAVING FUN. And ... JUST DO IT!

I think that from now on I should give him a quota.

Sunday, March 13

The Corner Cupboard

I keep all of our "treats" in a corner cupboard that the children cannot access.

Maybe I should find a new home for them...

Saturday, March 12

Making Pizza With Little Helpers

I decided to make some homemade pizzas yesterday. Here are the steps I took:

1. Ensure that there is some background music. Something to get you moving. Nothing says "quality bonding time" like a pounding headache.

2. Use a clean bowl.

3. Add the ingredients. Warning: you Little Helper may get a bit excited and add the ingredients without measuring them or at the wrong time. If you quite suddenly yell "NO!" as loud as you can, the Little Helper might be so scared that she wets her pants.

4. For some laughs, allow your Little Helper to taste the dough. Little Helpers always assume that it will taste sweet and will be shocked by a mouth filled with flour. Have a quick laugh and say "I told you it wasn't cake batter!".

5. Knead the dough. Pick at it. Add little crumbs that fall off. Create dinosaur shapes. But whatever you do, try not to think about what the Little Helper may have touched between the hand washing and the dough kneading.

6. Add toppings. This is a bit of a free-for-all. Throw the toppings at the children (and your husband) and yell "Everybody has to SHARE!!!".

7. Take a photo of the end product.

Okay, that's not exactly the "end product". You have to cook it. But you can do what I did, and just leave. Because everyone is happy at this point and they hardly noticed that you've jumped in your car and left. Word of warning: don't come home until after the children are asleep.

If you have a hard time following my step-by-step instructions, try using this recipe. It's very good!

Friday, March 11

A Life Less Urban

I want to move to a farm. I'm kind of obsessed with it. Which is funny, because I am not a farm type of girl. I don't enjoy animals. I don't enjoy physical labour. And I don't "muck". But I'm pretty certain that I should move to a farm.

I have convinced Dan that raising our children on a farm is an excellent idea. He was hesitant at first, and may have even laughed a little bit, but he came around when I reassured him that he wouldn't have to do any work...and he fell for it. I told him that I would do most of the work, and my brothers would be thrilled to do the hard stuff, while Dan went sailing (oh yeah, I found out that Dan fancies himself a sailor. It's okay to laugh, I did).

Convincing the children to move to a farm proves to be a bit more challenging.

Years ago, the twinnies wanted a pet. I said "no" (remember, I don't like animals). I told them that animals poop and I wasn't cleaning animal poop. They reassured me that Granny would come over and scoop poop. Granny told my precious little darlings to give their heads a shake and there was no way on Earth she was going to come over to our house to clean up after animals. She seemed rather passionate about it. She's funny like that.

The twinnies thought that a gold fish would be a reasonable compromise. I pointed out that fish poop, too. Then they wanted a dog. I said "The bigger the animal, the bigger the poop". Now, none of them want a pet. Nor do they want to live on a farm because of all the animals that would be there pooping, even though I promised that I would be the one scooping poop. They don't believe me, and are not willing to "risk it".

About once a day, I tell my children we should move to a farm. Just in case we win the lottery, I want them to be prepared. I ask them which vegetables we should grow in our garden, or which animals we should raise, or what we should name the cow. I mention all the yummy things I could make.

The other day, Bethie and I were sharing my egg sandwich (fried egg, cheese, and toast). I told her that if we lived on a farm we could get the eggs from the chickens, I could make the cheese from the cow's milk, and I could bake the bread. We wouldn't have to go to the store at all!

Bethie replied, "Yeah. If you want to do it the hard way..."

My children are soooo .... URBAN! Just like their father.

Thursday, March 10


I have never participated in "Wordless Wednesday". I have too much to say.

Until I saw this:

Bethie got hungry, I guess.

Katie caught me off guard, too. She said, "Trevor says FU. And Jason says FU. Know what Ethan's favourite letters are? FU. Also, Ted on the bus says FU all the time!". I responded by saying, "Will you please stop saying FU because it's upsetting me!". So now, Katie only whispers it in my ear when she's ratting out her classmates.

And I am absolutely speechless.

Saturday, March 5

How To Get Children to Participate in Cleaning

Dan has took a week off from work to be home with us for March Break. During this week, he has been fixated on cleaning. I have been fixated on everything but cleaning. Mostly, Dan has been scrubbing the house, and I have been in charge of ensuring that our little hurricanes refrain from destroying the room he is currently working on. This has only been slightly successful. Why? Because I am happy when the children decide to bug Dan instead of bugging me!

The other day, Dan was cleaning the kitchen. The children started getting in the way. He called to me so I could offer assistance. Instead, I took pictures (I'm funny like that).

Dan said "Fine. Do you want to help me vacuum?". Bethie said "No, but I will RIDE the vacuum!". Big help, eh?

She yelled at Dan to "go faster". I laughed.

This was soooo much easier when they were little.
After I took about 200 photos, Dan said "Will you take the children NOW?". Ummm, no.

Friday, March 4

I Married Boston Rob

Dan and I took the children to the museum. I took a lot of pictures of the children. When I got bored taking their pictures, I turned the camera on Dan.

I thought the photos were pretty good. Dan looked at the photos and said (I kid you not!), "I kinda look like Boston Rob, eh?!". I choked on my tea.

But then I kinda felt badly. Dan is a good man, a good father, and a good husband. He doesn't deserve for me to take the photo that makes me laugh and post it next to Boston Rob, and then laugh really, really hard! And it is sort of unfair because Boston Rob is in a suit and in a photo studio having his picture taken by a professional. Dan has spent the day cleaning and taking care of the children, and it was getting late in the day.

So, I decided to compare apples with apples.

Yup, practically twins.

And that's how I was going to end this post, except that Dan looked over at my laptop and said the last collage was an unfair comparison because Boston Rob has "a goatee and stuff". Ladies, I peed my pants!

Thursday, March 3

Surviving March Break

The children are on their March Break holidays. It's killing me. The first couple of days, all of them were sick. There was a lot of lying around the house feeling miserable. When I thought it couldn't get any worse, they got better. Then it became a lot of lying around the house whining. Yesterday, I had to get out. We went to Starr Gymnastics.

I took a couple of photos:

Katie - learning how to swing on the ropes

Sarah - she held onto that Dora ball almost the entire time


Sarah and Bethie

Katie - she jumped off this a billion times



Sarah "bouncing". That was her favourite thing to do. Dan is the background, falling. It cracked me up.


Katie - The world is a stage, and we are her audience

I couldn't believe that Katie jumped into the "foam pool"!



Operation: Knock 'Em Out worked! They were exhausted!