My Incidents

I have had "incidents". I don't know if they happen to other people, but they seem to happen to me all the time! It usually ends with me being very embarrassed and having to explain myself.

The twins go through life totally oblivious to anyone else. One day, we were walking down a path and they simply stopped. Coming down the same narrow path, but in the opposite direction, were two feeble, old ladies. As they approached the twins, they tried to navigate around them. I shouted out "Get out of the way, people!". The two old ladies apologized immediately. I had to explain that I was directing that comment at the children and not at them.

Another time, Bethie was crossing our small residential street. She was on one side, and I was on the other making sure everything was okay. She came to the curb just as a car rounded the corner. For safety's sake, I held out my hand like a crossing guard and told her to "Stop!". Both Bethie and the car came to a complete stop. Bethie and the driver looked at me rather expectantly. I explain to the driver that I was asking my child to stop, not simply imposing my own traffic rules on our wee street. He apologized and said "I thought you were talking to me".

Tim Horton's was a real treat. I wanted a coffee and promised the girls that I would get them each a cookie. We took the van (with it's tinted windows in the back). The drive-through took longer than the twins preferred and by the time we got to the counter, they were starting to become concerned that they would never, ever get the cookie that they had been promised. Finally, the clerk reached over and handed me the bag of cookies. As he was doing this, I shouted out "OOOOH LOOK! I have cookies!". He looked at me and I looked at him. In that moment, I realised that he had no idea that I had children in the vehicle.

The latest "incident" happened this weekend. Dan was away and I was (gasp!) alone with the children. To break the monotony and to acquire extra help, I packed up the three kids and went to Mum's house. The children and I immediately headed to Mum's garden. It was a warm, sunny day and we, as well as most of her neighbours, wanted to be outside enjoying ourselves.

At one point, Katie announced that she had to poop. I didn't want to leave Bethie and Sarah outside alone, and I certainly didn't want to drag them into the bathroom with me and Katie. Since Mum's bathroom window faced the rear of her house and the window was opened, I told Katie to go by herself and shout when she was finished. That suited Katie just fine and off she went.

A minute or so passes and I heard the toilet flush. It seemed to me that Katie wouldn't have had enough time to do all that she needed to do. So I shouted out, "Did you do a poop?". There was no response. I shouted up again, but this time really loudly "DID YOU DO A POOP?". My very angry mother replied "No, I didn't. Is that alright?". The neighbours and I agreed it was fine.