I live with four people that have strange, yet powerful, attachments to random objects. Each of them have their own little "treasures" that must be lovingly cared for and protected. I don't understand their devotions, but I accept them as a part of life.
One morning, we were getting ready to go to daycare. Bethie was using the washroom. I was in the kitchen trying to encourage everybody to hurry up. Bethie let out a terrific cry. I ran into the bathroom and saw her standing over the toilet pointing and crying. She had dropped her "magical fluff" (a tiny, wee make-up brush) in the toilet. Katie and Sarah raced in and discovered this prized item in the toilet. They both freaked out, too! All three children were yelling at me to retrieve the make-up brush. I looked into the toilet and discovered that it was full of poop!
I wanted to say, "Bad luck!" and flush the toilet. However, this would have devastated the twins. They were desperate for me to reach in with my hand and rescue the brush. Not bloody likely. As a mother, I have had many, many encounters with poop. Often, I have had poop on my hand. I have not, however, had poop on my hand intentionally.
I raced into the kitchen frantically looking for something to scoop up the make-up brush. The kids were panicking and crying. My heart was racing. I couldn't find any "tool" that would do the intended job! Then, the clouds parted and a beam of light shone on the perfect item. The tongs. These aren't just any tongs. These are Dan's tongs. It is no exaggeration to say that Dan loves these tongs. Far too often for my liking, he tells me how wonderful these tongs are. He uses them every time he cooks. He can twirl these tongs, as well as throw them up in the air and catch them (please ooh and aah now, I have to!). When Dan is cooking, these tongs become an extension of his hand.
It turns out that they are also great for picking up a tiny, wee brush in a toilet full of poop! The kids were pleased, and the crisis was over (or at least delayed because I ended up throwing the brush in the garbage while they were at daycare!). I debated whether or not to tell Dan. Normally, I wouldn't. There's a lot that I don't tell Dan, and he is better off not knowing. However, Dan would be cooking dinner that night and I really didn't want him to use the tongs until they had gone through the dishwasher.
Dan was horrified! He couldn't believe that I had stuck his sacred tongs in the poop-filled toilet. He immediately began to pull out all the utensils that I could have used instead. I tired of the conversation rather quickly. To distract him, I told him that Mum had wanted to buy us a large, flat screen TV for Christmas but I told her that our chunky 19" screen was fine. It worked. Dan couldn't believe that I turned down a free TV that he had coveted since I met him 13 years ago! I explained to him that we had just spent $300 on new glasses for him. Why did he need a large screen TV?