Wednesday, November 10

The Bribe

My kids have worn me down. They have zapped any resourcefulness and creativity from me. After 5 years, I have thrown my hands up and begged for mercy. And that didn't work.

So, I've started to bribe my children.

I realised how effective it was last night. Bethie announced that a little boy in her class would like her to buy some toy (it has a weird name, I don't know what it is, you'll have to ask Dan) so that they can play together at recess. I said to her, "Did you tell him that you don't have a job? Either get a job so you can buy the toy, or you'll have to go without". That went over well (not really). Apparently, 5 year olds are not "allowed" to have jobs. With all the sympathy I could muster, I said "Bad luck, kiddo". All that got me was some tears and yelling.

The next request from the twins was for $2 - each! They had some bizarre story about the school raising funds for the Grade 6 field trip and selling popcorn. I didn't really pay attention ... until I was asked to hand over money. Sigh. I am soooo sick of handing over money. So, I gave my list of demands: they had to have a bath and get into bed as fast as their little legs could take them. If they did this, I would "pay" them each $2. If I heard any whining or resistance of any kind, the Coffee Fairy would transform the coins into coffee for me (there's a new Tim Horton's near my house and it's costing the Coffee Fairy a small fortune!).

All three girls raced up the stairs and hopped into the bath. They behaved beautifully, and I handed over my coffee money. Totally worth it!

This morning, the twinnies were waiting for the bus. Bethie mentioned for the 100th time that she would like a poppy. Remembering last night, I told her that if she and Katie were super good after daycare, their father would buy them each a poppy. They were thrilled! As they got on the bus, they told another little girl, "After school, Daddy is going to buy us a puppy!".


As the bus door started closing, I shouted "A POPPY! NOT A PUPPY! A POPPY!". They waved at me and blew kisses as the bus pulled away.


I said a little prayer, "Please, let the twinnies be really, really bad after daycare so I don't have to buy a PUPPY!". After Dan breaks the news to them, I am quite confident that they will, in fact, be really bad!

1 comment:

Bibliomama said...

AHhahahahahaa. Because it's you and not me. And yes -- bribery and blackmail. They should be in the index of every parenting book.