Let me introduce you to Cara. I met her years ago. We hit it off. She made me laugh. She cheered me up. She made my life better. Just by knowing her. Cara is one of those ladies who is just...good. She's kind, and sweet, and compassionate. She focuses her love and attention of everybody else. Particularly children. Any child. Every child. I can only think of one fault, and it's a biggie. She lives in Calgary. I have nothing against Calgary, other than it's too damn far away from me. I miss my friend.
Cara and her husband, Alistair, have three children. The first two are close together in age. Shockingly close. They are blond hair, blue eyed beauties. Full of laughter and fun and mischief. Her third child currently resides in the Congo. Adoption is a long, and heartbreaking, and excruciating, and expensive process. Cara can practically feel this baby in her arms...yet he is still way too far away.
The Congo is a Hell on Earth. Especially for children. It no longer matters who is fighting, and why they are fighting. The focus is (or should be) on how they are fighting. Rape has become a weapon. The raping of women, of girls, and of babies. Both male and female babies.
The raping of women is used to instill fear. And pain. And shame. It is used as a method of control. As violence. As a means to dehumanize the civilians. The raping of children and babies is cruel, unforgivable, sinful.
When Life's pressures overwhelm me, I always say to myself "There is a woman my age in the Congo would give her eye teeth to swap positions with me". Because my babies are safe. Are clean. Are fed. Are happy. My babies have never had to hide at night. My babies have never had to watch their mother being beaten and raped and humiliated. My babies have never had to starve. Because they were blessed enough to be born white, middle class, and in Canada. And that is the only thing that differentiates them from children in the Congo.
Cara's child is in the midst of all this horror. She longs to have her baby home. Safe at night. Belly full. And tucked into his little bed. There are a lot of obstacles. And delays. Her heart often takes a beating. And she carries on. Taking care of her older children. Hoping that her baby will soon be home.
What frustrates me is the cost involved. Here is a beautiful, happy family who has reached out their arms and opened their home to a baby whose life would otherwise be short and bleak. They are eager to accept him, to love him, to enroll him in Gymboree and other fun activities. They will help him with his homework, ensure that he gets a good education, and pay for him to go to university. They will take him to the doctor's, hold him close when he's sick, and cuddle him when his heart has been broken. But Cara cannot afford the fees involved. I do not know of any family that could. The fees are enormous.
My friend, who has reached out to help a stranger in a strange land, is asking for our help. She is not asking for the thousands and thousands of dollars that she needs. She is asking that we look through a collection of eco-friendly products to see if there is anything we'd like. For ourselves. For others (especially as Christmas will soon be here!). In purchasing from this link, we will be helping a small child who, until now, has had very little reason to hope for a happy future.
If we can all help out a little, what a tremendous difference that would make!
https://www.onlygreen.com/steadadoption/
Cara (or "Cams" as I will always think of you!), you are a good person and deserve good things. Your baby will come home. Soon, hopefully. Keep your head up. Hold onto your Faith in the goodness of others. Behind you stand countless friends, family and strangers, cheering you on. I'm there, too, with my pom poms in hand waiting breathlessly for an updated family picture. With all five of you in it!
Friday, October 15
Wednesday, October 13
My School Rant
Dear Principal of the Twins Little School,
I haven't sent my children to school with a letter for you in about a month. Not because I have nothing to say or I respect that you have far more important things to do than to read about my "worries", but because I was afraid that at some point, you would shoot the postman. In this case, the "postmen" are my little girls. So, I've eased up.
However, I see that you have struggled without my guidance.
I apologize.
I saw hints of this struggle when I got a newsletter home from school asking me to ante up $20 (TWENTY!!!) for pizza days. Really?! That's a lot of pizza for two five year old girls! I send my little angels to school with a piece of fruit, a sandwich, some cheese and crackers, and some juice. And food comes home in their lunch box! This pizza must be tiny or gourmet or something. What's the name of the place you get it? "1 for 1 Pizza". Sounds like a good deal.
Oh! Before we get off the topic, thanks for the 12 hours notice that I need to ante up $20. Love, love, love the midnight dashes to the ATM!
In the same newsletter, you invited me to a "Home and School meeting", a Board of Directors meeting, a movie night on Friday, and to a couple of assemblies. On top of that, you have asked me to volunteer for all sorts of activities. Really? I kinda get the impression that you want me to be more involved, but the last time I showed up at your school when I was invited, I was the only parent there. And, you seemed sort of surprised to see me. Imagine what a dork I felt like sitting all by myself at the front of the gym and having every child and every teacher stare at me for the duration of the assembly. Therefore, I am going to decline those invitations. You understand.
I have been given lectures via newsletters about how I should save the planet, recycle, and NO MATTER WHAT ensure that my children are sent to school with a "litterless lunch". After I googled "litterless lunch" and figured out what you were talking about, I complied. My little cherubs have "gone green", despite the fact that they are losing weight because they cannot open their "litterless lunch" (I shall cc you on my letter to Rubbermaid). Too bad, I say, we must all suffer if we are going to save Mother Earth.
Well, Mother Gwen is a bit ticked. I have banned juice boxes, plastic wrap, disposable utensils, and brown paper bags. I have sought out "green" alternatives. Just as you have suggested. In the 500 newsletters you have sent home in the last month. In duplicate. I was informed that the oldest sibling at the school gets the newsletters so as not to waste natural resources. How come I still get two of everything? Is it because my kids are in the same class and being identical twins leaves some room for confusion as to whether or not they will both be returning to the same house? Or is it because you are not sure which twin is older (Bethie, but only by a minute), so you just give newsletters to each of them thinking I'll sort it out at home? No, really. This might sound like I am being snarky, but I am dead keen to understand.
But that's not why I am writing to you. I am writing to you because you sent home a letter yesterday, in duplicate, saying, "There are currently cases of impetigo in your child's class. This infection often appears on the face, particularly around the nose and mouth. It presents with small purulent lesions that become encrusted."
Ummm...what did you think my reaction to this would be?
I went crazy. This is the kind of thing that I would like to know before my children have spent all day with sickly, "encrusted" children. Also, I have some follow up questions:
At the end of the letter, it reads, "N.B. If you consult a doctor, bring this letter with you". Okay. Will do. Because if my child has oozing facial lesions, I may forget to mention to the doctor that impetigo is going around my child's class. Or, the doctor may not believe me. In which case, this letter, on school letterhead (!), will come in very helpful!
Looking forward to the next newsletter(s)!
Gwen
P.S. If you are going to send home notes telling me that the school has been infected with impetigo, please let the school secretary know. When I called this morning, she was unaware of the situation, and asked me "if I was kidding". Which lead me to think, 1) do parents commonly call up and make jokes about contagious diseases?, and 2) was I really the only parent who had follow up questions?
I haven't sent my children to school with a letter for you in about a month. Not because I have nothing to say or I respect that you have far more important things to do than to read about my "worries", but because I was afraid that at some point, you would shoot the postman. In this case, the "postmen" are my little girls. So, I've eased up.
However, I see that you have struggled without my guidance.
I apologize.
I saw hints of this struggle when I got a newsletter home from school asking me to ante up $20 (TWENTY!!!) for pizza days. Really?! That's a lot of pizza for two five year old girls! I send my little angels to school with a piece of fruit, a sandwich, some cheese and crackers, and some juice. And food comes home in their lunch box! This pizza must be tiny or gourmet or something. What's the name of the place you get it? "1 for 1 Pizza". Sounds like a good deal.
Oh! Before we get off the topic, thanks for the 12 hours notice that I need to ante up $20. Love, love, love the midnight dashes to the ATM!
In the same newsletter, you invited me to a "Home and School meeting", a Board of Directors meeting, a movie night on Friday, and to a couple of assemblies. On top of that, you have asked me to volunteer for all sorts of activities. Really? I kinda get the impression that you want me to be more involved, but the last time I showed up at your school when I was invited, I was the only parent there. And, you seemed sort of surprised to see me. Imagine what a dork I felt like sitting all by myself at the front of the gym and having every child and every teacher stare at me for the duration of the assembly. Therefore, I am going to decline those invitations. You understand.
I have been given lectures via newsletters about how I should save the planet, recycle, and NO MATTER WHAT ensure that my children are sent to school with a "litterless lunch". After I googled "litterless lunch" and figured out what you were talking about, I complied. My little cherubs have "gone green", despite the fact that they are losing weight because they cannot open their "litterless lunch" (I shall cc you on my letter to Rubbermaid). Too bad, I say, we must all suffer if we are going to save Mother Earth.
Well, Mother Gwen is a bit ticked. I have banned juice boxes, plastic wrap, disposable utensils, and brown paper bags. I have sought out "green" alternatives. Just as you have suggested. In the 500 newsletters you have sent home in the last month. In duplicate. I was informed that the oldest sibling at the school gets the newsletters so as not to waste natural resources. How come I still get two of everything? Is it because my kids are in the same class and being identical twins leaves some room for confusion as to whether or not they will both be returning to the same house? Or is it because you are not sure which twin is older (Bethie, but only by a minute), so you just give newsletters to each of them thinking I'll sort it out at home? No, really. This might sound like I am being snarky, but I am dead keen to understand.
But that's not why I am writing to you. I am writing to you because you sent home a letter yesterday, in duplicate, saying, "There are currently cases of impetigo in your child's class. This infection often appears on the face, particularly around the nose and mouth. It presents with small purulent lesions that become encrusted."
Ummm...what did you think my reaction to this would be?
I went crazy. This is the kind of thing that I would like to know before my children have spent all day with sickly, "encrusted" children. Also, I have some follow up questions:
- You referred to "cases". How many cases are there? 2? 18? Makes a big difference.
- Are the little encrusted darlings been held out of school?
- When did the "lesions" first appear? Today? 6 days ago?
At the end of the letter, it reads, "N.B. If you consult a doctor, bring this letter with you". Okay. Will do. Because if my child has oozing facial lesions, I may forget to mention to the doctor that impetigo is going around my child's class. Or, the doctor may not believe me. In which case, this letter, on school letterhead (!), will come in very helpful!
Looking forward to the next newsletter(s)!
Gwen
P.S. If you are going to send home notes telling me that the school has been infected with impetigo, please let the school secretary know. When I called this morning, she was unaware of the situation, and asked me "if I was kidding". Which lead me to think, 1) do parents commonly call up and make jokes about contagious diseases?, and 2) was I really the only parent who had follow up questions?
Monday, October 11
Thanksgiving
I am thankful for fresh fruit everyday. For clean, running water. For free, accessible health care. For affordable medicine. For vaccines. For public schools that accept everyone, regardless of sex, race, religion or income.
I am thankful for our home. For 4 walls and a roof that will protect us from the elements. For our safety. For our neighbours, who delight in my children and who look out for each other (and each other's children).
I am thankful that I can read. That my children will read. That my children will have opportunities that most people in the world can only dream of. That their focus won't be on preventing starvation, fleeing from violence, or survival. They have the luxury to grow and thrive.
I am thankful for the sound of little girls laughing. For kisses blown at each other. For giant hugs. For the love and comfort of having my family around me.
I am thankful that there is a child in the Congo who will soon be with his Mummy, Daddy, brother and sister in Calgary. I am thankful that Cara's love doesn't comprehend differences in race or territories mapped out by waring countries. Her heart has reached across the ocean and grabbed hold of her child, and the hold she has on him is stronger than all the forces that may try to diminish that bond.
I am thankful that I get to share my dinner of Thanksgiving with those that I love most in this world:
+October.jpg)
Despite their "nuances" (yes, Dan, this includes you. Exhibit A: insisting on wearing sunglasses while you are photographed eating your Thanksgiving meal), they are everything to me. And I am everything to them. My cup runneth over.
I am thankful for our home. For 4 walls and a roof that will protect us from the elements. For our safety. For our neighbours, who delight in my children and who look out for each other (and each other's children).
I am thankful that I can read. That my children will read. That my children will have opportunities that most people in the world can only dream of. That their focus won't be on preventing starvation, fleeing from violence, or survival. They have the luxury to grow and thrive.
I am thankful for the sound of little girls laughing. For kisses blown at each other. For giant hugs. For the love and comfort of having my family around me.
I am thankful that there is a child in the Congo who will soon be with his Mummy, Daddy, brother and sister in Calgary. I am thankful that Cara's love doesn't comprehend differences in race or territories mapped out by waring countries. Her heart has reached across the ocean and grabbed hold of her child, and the hold she has on him is stronger than all the forces that may try to diminish that bond.
I am thankful that I get to share my dinner of Thanksgiving with those that I love most in this world:
+October.jpg)
Despite their "nuances" (yes, Dan, this includes you. Exhibit A: insisting on wearing sunglasses while you are photographed eating your Thanksgiving meal), they are everything to me. And I am everything to them. My cup runneth over.
Sunday, October 10
Prima Ballerinas
I let the twins play outside...alone. We live on a quiet street, with very little traffic. The girls aren't "up to no good". They usually just pretend they are princesses and dance about. And I get a little break.
Katie and Bethie had been outside for a while before they came bursting in the front door shouting, "Come and watch our performance!". I dropped what I was doing, and went outside to watch my little ballerinas sing and dance.
I took the camera.
Although the show was wonderful, I must confess, I was distracted. What could possibly distract me from their angelic voices and gracefully dancing?
This.
Bethie and Katie had raced around my gardens picking almost all my marigolds so they could "fancy up" their "stage". AHHH!
The best bit was this:
These were the flowers that I was meant to toss at the twins after their performance. They had thought of everything!
Katie and Bethie had been outside for a while before they came bursting in the front door shouting, "Come and watch our performance!". I dropped what I was doing, and went outside to watch my little ballerinas sing and dance.
I took the camera.
Although the show was wonderful, I must confess, I was distracted. What could possibly distract me from their angelic voices and gracefully dancing?
This.
The best bit was this:
These were the flowers that I was meant to toss at the twins after their performance. They had thought of everything!
Thursday, October 7
The View From My Home
The other day, I was washing dishes and feeling rather sorry for myself. The day had gone miserably, and it was no where near over, and no one seemed to understand me.
I glanced out my kitchen window and saw this:
I ignored the weeds (hence their existence in the first place!) and focused on the brilliance of the yellow marigolds and the complementary purple asters. I was "wowed". I thought, for sure, that these asters weren't going to make it. They had looked so pitiful during the summer, that my only hope was that they would survive. I had no expectation that they would bloom. But they did. And I was thrilled.
Today, I was walking past my front window and saw this:
Sarah is the little one at the end of this "train". My heart soared. Emilie had taken the children for a walk or to the park, and now they were coming home. And all I could think of was that I have the best views from my house!
I glanced out my kitchen window and saw this:
I ignored the weeds (hence their existence in the first place!) and focused on the brilliance of the yellow marigolds and the complementary purple asters. I was "wowed". I thought, for sure, that these asters weren't going to make it. They had looked so pitiful during the summer, that my only hope was that they would survive. I had no expectation that they would bloom. But they did. And I was thrilled.
Today, I was walking past my front window and saw this:
Sarah is the little one at the end of this "train". My heart soared. Emilie had taken the children for a walk or to the park, and now they were coming home. And all I could think of was that I have the best views from my house!
Wednesday, October 6
Favourite Part
Every evening during dinner, I ask everyone "What was your favourite part of the day?". Each person gets a chance to answer. We've been doing this for years, and we all love this tradition.
On Sunday, we went to the Papanack Zoo to celebrate Tyler's birthday. Near the end of the party, each child got a chance to feed the animals. The twins chose to drop their feed into the rabbit pen.
Sarah was a little more brave. She, with help from Mum, fed the goats.
That was about 3pm on Sunday. Every five minutes since then, Sarah has said, "My favourite part?". I have to say, "What was your favourite part?". She replies, "Give animals crackers. They lick my hand!". Every five minutes. I'm supposed to act surprised and delighted. My enthusiasm has waned. Significantly. However, the "updates" continue!
On Sunday, we went to the Papanack Zoo to celebrate Tyler's birthday. Near the end of the party, each child got a chance to feed the animals. The twins chose to drop their feed into the rabbit pen.
 |
| Bethie |
 |
| Katie |
Sarah was a little more brave. She, with help from Mum, fed the goats.
That was about 3pm on Sunday. Every five minutes since then, Sarah has said, "My favourite part?". I have to say, "What was your favourite part?". She replies, "Give animals crackers. They lick my hand!". Every five minutes. I'm supposed to act surprised and delighted. My enthusiasm has waned. Significantly. However, the "updates" continue!
Tuesday, October 5
One Day
Weekday mornings are difficult for me. First of all, Dan leaves for work so early that I have to prepare the children for school and daycare on my own. Secondly, the twins don't "do" mornings (and Sarah does them too damn early!!!). Just waking them up is a battle! Third, none of the children like to eat breakfast. Fourth, none of the children willingly get dressed, and hardly ever wear what I would like them to wear. And lastly, all three girls are slow! Needless to say, there's a lot of shouting in my house in the mornings.
Today was different. The stars must have aligned. It was wonderful.
Two thirds of the children came downstairs without a fight (Katie came down when I offered to hold her hand). Two thirds of the children ate all of their breakfast (Sarah had been grazing since 5:20am, so I was not upset about her skipping some of her breakfast). Not only did the twins get dressed without a fight, they put on the clothes that I have been dying for them to wear!!!
Here are some snaps of my Highland lassies:
I was thrilled!
I packed the twins off to school, I took a deep breath, and prepared myself for Sarah's daily fury.
But Sarah was a dream. She was eager to get dressed, and was eager to put on her jacket, hat, and mitts. I was shocked, especially because she knew she was going to daycare (Sarah has fought me on going to daycare since the twins started school). I was over the moon!!! I told her that since she was being soooo good, she needed to have her photo taken, too.
Ta da:
I practically skipped to daycare. Everything had been so perfect.
Once inside Emilie's house, Sarah removed her outerwear and started playing with Olivier. Olivier is only about fourteen months old. Typically, he drives Sarah crazy. Today, she delighted in "fetching" the ball for him.
I turned to Andre and said, "I can't believe how wonderfully it's going today!". He replied, "It's only one day". Yes, it's ONE day. That's ONE day more than we had yesterday...and it whispers the promise of MORE DAYS to come!
Today was different. The stars must have aligned. It was wonderful.
Two thirds of the children came downstairs without a fight (Katie came down when I offered to hold her hand). Two thirds of the children ate all of their breakfast (Sarah had been grazing since 5:20am, so I was not upset about her skipping some of her breakfast). Not only did the twins get dressed without a fight, they put on the clothes that I have been dying for them to wear!!!
Here are some snaps of my Highland lassies:
I was thrilled!
I packed the twins off to school, I took a deep breath, and prepared myself for Sarah's daily fury.
But Sarah was a dream. She was eager to get dressed, and was eager to put on her jacket, hat, and mitts. I was shocked, especially because she knew she was going to daycare (Sarah has fought me on going to daycare since the twins started school). I was over the moon!!! I told her that since she was being soooo good, she needed to have her photo taken, too.
Ta da:
I practically skipped to daycare. Everything had been so perfect.
Once inside Emilie's house, Sarah removed her outerwear and started playing with Olivier. Olivier is only about fourteen months old. Typically, he drives Sarah crazy. Today, she delighted in "fetching" the ball for him.
I turned to Andre and said, "I can't believe how wonderfully it's going today!". He replied, "It's only one day". Yes, it's ONE day. That's ONE day more than we had yesterday...and it whispers the promise of MORE DAYS to come!
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