In Memoriam

It didn't come as a shock. It was a long and painful process. But the death of that crappy hunk of metal that I lovingly referred to as "the green car", came rather abruptly. I decided that it was better to have the car limp into the dealership than to have it towed. So, just before Christmas, I told Dan that I was going to do a grocery shop. Instead, I bought a car.

It's lovely. Everything is automatic: the windows, the mirrors, the locks, and even the seats. It has a working speedometer (which doesn't sound exciting until you've driven two years without one) and a little light that comes on when the windshield wiper fluid is low. It even has...wait for it... air conditioning! When I informed Dad about all these fancies, he said that I was becoming "soft" in my old age (it is important to remember that he has every feature that one can get with a car, except a chauffeur. I'm sure his next car will come with one included!). That's when I sprung it on him: my new car has heated seats! Dad expressed amazement that I would need such a silly upgrade (yes, my friends, I paid extra for that little feature). However, I have decided that my rump shall never be cold again!

I felt quite proud bopping around town in my little car. It's a sweet little thing that truly is "me". It was the first time I bought something for myself and didn't go for the cheapest thing on the market. In fact, it was the most expensive car that I was considering. How very grown up of me to be able to afford such a luxury! I grinned from ear to ear as I presented  my shiny new car to the twins. They were delighted! They exclaimed, "Now we have a big red car, too!". Just like The Wiggles. Poof. They sucked the pride right out of me.

The Wiggles may be "cooler" than I am, but my arse is warmer!