Sunday, July 18

Brilliant Idea!

I don't know what got in me. I shouldn't say that. I know exactly how it happened. I do it over and over and over again. I act, and then I think about the consequences.

Here's what happened: One beautiful day in June, I was outside thinking how lovely my gardens look. Most of the flowers were in bloom. The weather was gorgeous. I thought, "Perfection!". I took some photos:

Later that day, I was on the city's website and discovered that they had a garden contest that any resident could enter. I fixated on the fact that a professional photographer would come and take pictures of all the gardens that were entered into the contest. It sounded wonderful to me. I signed up.

It took about 2 weeks for the penny to drop: I had entered my garden into a contest and my garden was going to be photographed, critiqued, and judged! Panic! My gardens are lovely to the average person going for a evening stroll (especially compared with the barrenness of my neighbourhood). But when you take a closer look...gasp! Not exactly perfection.

I had no hope of winning, but I wanted to be presentable. I thought that the week before the judging began, Dan and I could blitz the gardens. Here's what happened instead:
  1. The sun burnt every blade of grass I own to a yellow crisp. Thank goodness the weeds responded to my frantic watering, and gave the lawn a touch of green.
  2. I was wicked sick the weekend before the judging, and high on morphine (who knew the doctors could prescribe morphine, and who would have thought that I would be trustworthy enough to take it only as prescribed - I'm not, by the way!). Therefore, not one bit of gardening was done on the weekend.
  3. I spent the week catching up on all the "indoor" chores that had to be taken care of. My weeding plan was "Cross your fingers and hope that the judges don't notice/recognize the weeds".
  4. The source of all my summertime misery (Japanese Beetles, of course - they deserve a special post dedicated to the terror they bring upon me), destroyed my lovely gardens while I was drugged. They were aided and abetted by some phantom bug that is stripping every rose branch bare.
My yard was a mess. Still nicer than 99% of the houses on my street, but not quite up to the arrogance of signing yourself up for a gardening contest. What could I do? Dan was out of town, I was on my own, and I had run out of time. I consoled myself with the hope that I wouldn't be home when the judges arrived.

Guess what? I was, in fact, home when the judges arrived at 9:30 this morning. The twins went crazy. They couldn't figure out why a car full of people had stopped in front of our house, and everyone was just staring at us. Don't get me wrong, they are used to being stared at. In fact, they thrive in the spot light. But parking your car and having a good  look was just too much for them. They were baffled!

I told the girls that the car load of people were here to see my babies dance, and they should stand in front of my garden and show off their best moves. All three girls were more than happy to do this. I hid in the kitchen, chuckling to myself. I figure that I should get bonus points for the "Cuteness Factor". I was pleased that I had been clever enough to send my "secret weapons" out there to confuse the judges. Maybe they would overlook the yellow grass and the weed gardens because my little cherubs will have charmed them.

This hope was dashed when I asked Bethie what the people in the car had said to her. She said that the audience/passengers kept asking if Katie and Bethie were identical twins. At first, Bethie answered sweetly. She knows the drill. Seriously folks, we get stopped ALL THE TIME! But after having been asked the same question four times in a row, she got annoyed. Bethie answered the elderly lady, but with a figurative roll of the eyes. Not so cute and charming anymore! I probably got points docked for having a kid with attitude!

Mum came over in the afternoon. I was outside ... gardening. She said, "It's too late now". I snarled back, "I'm doing it for ME!". But I wasn't really, I was doing it because I haven't seen the photographer yet. Do you think that he'll take some snaps with my babies in them?! I bet he will. The girls will really think they have "made it big" when the paparazzi turns up!

No comments: