Lisa wrote on facebook last night: Sigh.
My friend was feeling a little down. I wanted to cheer her up. I wanted to let her know how much I respect and value our friendship. I replied.
Me: I was just thinking about you. I have decided that you're my Gayle King.
Then my very best friend wrote me an email and said, "OMG now you think your OPRAH??". Not "Wow. I think you're pretty special, too". Not even "Thanks!". Instead, she laughed at me. So I went back to facebook and continued to comment...
Me: Or my Ethel. Or my Tom Sawyer. Or my Ron Weasley. My Baloo! Naw, just kidding, you're my Gayle King...
Lisa: LMAO...lets get one thing straight...I am not Gayle...I am so more LUCY than you....might I remind you of who went in the kids giant bin of balls to retrieve a child that was not mine...and Ron....RON....I am soooooo Hermione...btw did you see the last one?? And do not get me started on DISNEY...lol...I am more of a Belle, but if we are doing the Jungle book than let's say I'm Bageera, although I would love to be as care free as Baloo or right now I am probably as insane as King Louie... I shall agree to be Laverne to your Shirley or a Krissy to your Janet but GAYLE...REALLY!!
Me: YOU are Lucy? Ummm...do I have to remind you about the strangers having the picnic in the park, quickly followed by the Oreos in the grocery store? Also, you're not loud enough to be Lucy. Ummm...no, I didn't see the last Harry Potter. But ...Harry and Ron are tight. Hermione, not so much. I am trying to show how CLOSE we are. This isn't really "Guess Which Literary Character Most Represents Lisa". Belle, really? How come you ended up with Gaston?! Bageera. Ha! I can just picture you singing into the phone "Look for the bare necessities...forget about your worries and your strifes". But, in the end, you are the epitome of Gayle freakin' King. I hate Laverne and Shirley. Who are Krissy and Janet? OH! OH! OH! You can be the Blair to my Jo!
Lisa: How DID I end up with Gaston?? Well on the upside that means my BEAST is out there somewhere...so I should stay optimistic...lol...BUT GAYLE??? I could be Kate...
Me: ...well then I'm your Allie.
Most people would stop here. We've had a little laugh and found a suitable famous pair that we can emulate. But no...
Lisa: Or I'm willing to do Brad to your George, but not GAYLE freakin KING
Me: George?! He's old. Can I be Matt and you be Ben? That way, we are both GORGEOUS and rich and wicked smart with a whole lot of funny...
Lisa: Well I'd rather be Brad....or someone that at least gets to be with Brad but fine...for you I'll be BEN...
Again, we have decided on a couple, but it doesn't end there...
Me: BTW, what's your problem with Gayle King? Oprah says she's the best thing since sliced bread and that everyone should have a friend like her. They went camping together. We could go camping... but I'm not sleeping in a tent. Nor will I be peeing in the bushes. Or cooking the dinner over a fire. Perhaps a spa would be more "us".
Lisa: Well I will agree....I am the best thing since sliced bread...LOL...I don't know...it's just weird...
Me: Ummm...have you noticed that this has kinda been me going on about how much I adore you...and not so much in return from you? Thanks, Buddy.
Lisa: LMAO...I was wondering when you would stop and notice...I have been laughing since it started...And what do you mean nothing in return...I gave you me being BEN!!! LOL
Me: Big sacrifice. You just made yourself Sexiest Man of Some Year. That's like saying, "I'd be Bill Gates for you". What a hardship!
Me: OMG Gayle and Oprah are in Australia together!!! We could SOOOO do Australia! Do you think Gayle is on Twitter? Can you find out for me and I would totally follow her
Lisa: Fine you be OPRAH and buy me everything and take me everywhere...now that I think about it...this one sounds good...LOL
Me: If I had Oprah's money, I would buy you whatever you wanted...but you have to be Johnny On The Spot and make sure you take care of things for me. Starting with, I never want to have to wait in a Tim Horton's drive-through again. X-Large French Vanilla with half coffee every morning at 6:30am, please
Lisa: It was the least I could do...and yes she has twitter...really all this time we should have been doing boss/assistant relationships
It's worth mentioning that Lisa and I became friends when I was the manager and she was my assistant. I enjoyed that. Lisa, not as much. Although, I would like the record to show that I was the very best boss that she has ever (or will ever) have! I was very good to her. Not so much to everyone else though...!
Lisa: Ya your ellen and I'm like that skinny dude in the short shorts that does everything she says
Lisa: I knew you would know that guy...and yes he is AWESOME...like me....and Ashton Kutcher
Me: You could be Dax!
Lisa: LMFAO.....alright...for you I'd be Dax
Me: Gotta let you know, Dax, I can't keep up with commenting while emailing you and IM you. AHHH!
Yay, that's right. While forcing me to comment on her facebook page, Lisa was also bombarding me with emails and instant messages. And it was about midnight. She fried what was left of my brain!
Lisa: and that is why I am the ASSISTANT! I multi task better!
Me: LMAO! But try to remember, you are no longer allowed to delegate UP!
Lisa: Sorry still do...
Lisa really is my Gayle King, isn't she?