Wednesday, January 26

Richer Than God

Monday at 4pm, I lost my mind. After 5 years of turning myself inside out to accommodate, please, and delight my family, I threw my hands in the air and shouted "Enough!". I sat down on the couch and watched TV. Dinner waited, the children waited, and Dan waited...while I watched Oprah.

But I didn't really watch it because I was angry. I was angry that Dan got a lovely week long vacation in the Bahamas and then come home and had a four hour nap. I was angry that the children wanted to throw a Welcome Home Party for the man who had been living it up on Paradise Island! I was angry that I had to go out and buy party decorations, as well as having to make home-made pizza and a multi-coloured cake. I was angry because the people that I love dearly refused  to help me. They were too busy telling me that I wasn't doing a good enough job.

Oprah was meant to distract me. She was going on about finding a sister she had never known. This sister was put up for adoption at birth but tracked her family down as an adult.

The twinnies decided to talk. Big, huge, exaggerated SIGH!

Katie wanted to know what "adoption" meant. I explained adoption was when parents give away their children, and other people love and take care of those children. Katie was horrified. I explained that most people who had to give up their children did so because they couldn't afford to take care of them, and that they loved their children so much that they found new parents who would give them an excellent life. Now BE QUIET!

Bethie thought the command for silence was meant solely for Katie. She asked "Do you have enough money to take care of us?". I reassured the child that her father and I could, in fact, take care of our children. We dropped the subject.

At one point, the long lost sister said something like "I just knew that God would help me find my mother. He would show me a sign.". Well, this caught Bethie's attention. She was glued to the TV. She couldn't wait to see what God was going to do!

While Bethie was waiting for God's debut on TV, she asked "Why is God poor?".

Huh? Where did this come from? I explained to the child that God is not "poor".

Bethie responded, "Then how come He gave us to you?".

I wanted to tell her that God gave me children because I must have been a very wicked child, and the children were (obviously) my punishment. But that wouldn't do. Also, it wouldn't have been true. I was a delightful child. Instead, I replied, "Ummm...because I'm richer than God". Because that was equally amusing to me, and far less upsetting to the children. Win, win.

After 45 minutes, I got tired of watching Oprah and felt compelled to make dinner. I changed the channel back to Treehouse. Bethie asked me if she could finish watching Oprah because she was "waiting for a sign from God". Because God communicates to the masses through...OPRAH! Turns out that it was both an "Ah ha" and a "ha ha" moment for me!

4 comments:

Alicia said...

Hilarious. I love reading about the questions your girls have. Good for you for taking a much needed break...but I think you deserve a trip down south now!

3LittleMonkeys said...

HAHAHAHAHA...I love it! I love how their minds work!

When I was watching The Real Housewives of Atlanta I was looking for a sign from God....no wonder I didn't see one, wrong show!

I would be mad if my hubby came home from a nice trip and had a nap too! GRRRRR.

Gwen said...

Alicia: I do deserve a break down south! I shall pass this on to Dan!

3 Little Monkeys: LOL! Yup, all signs from God are viewed directly through Oprah. Wasn't this in her opening credits at some point?

Bibliomama said...

My husband is coming home from France tonight. I've been stumbling around trying to feed and clothe and help with homework in a cold-medicine-induced snot-fogged haze. God or Oprah help him if he tries to take a nap.