O What A Tangled Web I Weave...

I lie to my kids. A lot. I'm starting to feel guilty. They are going to have a twisted view of the world because of me. Here are some of my lies (sadly, the list goes on and on):

• Santa is going to come back and take their toys if they don't clean them up.
• Their juice only "works" if it's half filled with water.
• When they jump, it makes the snow fall.
• Dora's Mummy gave me the recipe for the pork because it's Dora's favourite meal. Also, Tyrone's (from the Backyardigans) Mummy gave me the recipe for the chicken.
• Wee Willie Winkie (from Mother Goose) is angry because they are not asleep. This doesn't work so well because they think Wee Willie Winkie is their friend and they want to play with him.
• All their bath toys are going down the drain unless they clean them up.
• When they go to daycare, I have to take Sarah to Dr. Gfeller (who has retired) to get a needle. If they don't go to daycare, then Dr. Gfeller will give them a needle too.
• The Reverend is suffering from some plague that has closed the church until further notice.