Wednesday, September 15

Code Red

The five of us went out for dinner on Saturday night. We didn't get home until about 8pm. Although, it wasn't very late, the sun had set and the children were exhausted. Getting them to bed was going to be very fast. They were already in their PJs, with their hair and teeth brushed. All we had to do was to grab their waters (already poured and waiting in the fridge) and throw them into bed.

As I pulled into the driveway, I noticed that all the lights were off in our house. I informed my husband that it drives me crazy when he follows behind me and "un-does" all my work. I had turned on the lights before we left despite it still being daylight out, because I anticipated it being dark when we got home. Dan was surprised that I had thought to turn the lights on, despite the fact that I have done that a billion times before. My forte is thinking ahead and anticipating what will happen next. For example, I thought to bring with us the children's PJs, toothbrushes, and hairbrush. I had prepared the twins' water for the night. And I had left the lights on so we wouldn't have to haul the children into the house in complete darkness. Dan's response? He said, "I like turning lights off".

Note: This is true. One evening, I was sitting in the living room reading my book. Dan decided to go to bed so he turned off the TV, crossed the room, and turned off the lights. Failing at trying to read my book in the dark (!), I said, "What are you doing?". My darling husband said, "I don't want to waste hydro". Well done, Mr. Green, but I was still using that hydro. So, I agree, he has a thing for turning off lights.

Anyway, I rush inside before the children so I can turn the exterior light on for them. I noticed that Dan had turned the upstairs bathroom light off as well. I was super annoyed. I leave that light on because if it's on, I can send the children up to bed by themselves and I don't have to go up. Ahhhh! This meant that there was more work for me! Dan seemed confused. Apparently, he thought it was very unlike him to turn the upstairs lights off. Why? I don't know. Maybe upstairs lights use less energy. Maybe he doesn't like turning off lights and having to run downstairs in darkness. Maybe he found it inconceivable that he would go up the stairs for the sole purpose of turning off a light. I don't ask questions. I just sigh loudly, roll my eyes, and carry on.

I send the twins up to bed as I follow behind them carrying Sarah. Dan was in the twins' room doing I don't know what. I flicked off the light, he yelled at me because he had wanted the light on (what goes around, comes around), and I yelled at him to get out of the twins bedroom. I said goodnight to the twins, and took Sarah to her room.

Dan was now in Sarah's room. The light was on and he was digging through her closet. Really? What on Earth could he possibly need in her closet at that moment? I told him to get out of her room. I put the baby in her toddler size Tinker bell bed. Then Dan got down on all fours and looked under her bed. I was super annoyed. I had no idea what he was doing, but I was positive that he was going to make this easy goodnight very difficult.

As I ushered him out of Sarah's room, it clicked. I knew what he was up to. I started mock yelling "Code Red! Code Red!". You see, I had been the only person over the age of five at the elementary school's assembly on Emergency Preparedness. This has given me a special insight into the mind husband! Code Red was the school's warning for a "bad stranger" in the school! Dan, figuring it was totally inconceivably that he would go up the stairs for no real reason, decided that someone must have broken into our house and was lurking in the dark spots (like under Sarah's tiny bed!) in order to get him!

I laughed and laughed and laughed. Because I'm supportive like that. And because my super tough (it's all talk) husband gets scared when the sun sets. This time, he was afraid of the "bad stranger". Sometimes, he's afraid of zombies and vampires. He has given all these situations a tremendous amount of thought, and has planned escape routes for me and the children. Yup, I have been told what to do if mummies should ever come to "get us". But he does this because he loves us. And we love him because, bless his heart, he checked the entire house to make sure we were safe. And his did this while I laughed!

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