I failed kindergarten.
Not the first go 'round. I've been told that I performed brilliantly when I was in kindergarten. As a matter of fact, my father will tell you I was the most clever student in the entire class.
Turns out, I absolutely suck as the parent of kindergartners.
My first big failure last year was that I failed to ensure that my children (who were not yet students of the school and who couldn't read) won the Summer Reading Contest. Turns out that all of the other parents of future kindergartners participated in the contest, and their children won prizes. My children sat in the school gym feeling left out and crying. Because their mother sucks.
I wasn't about to make that mistake again!
As we understood the contest rules, there is one ballot awarded for each book (if it's short) or each chapter that is read to the darling child. I hit the library. More than once. And requested books online. (I seldom took the children in to the library because they would morph in to three unholy terrors) Dan and I quickly saw the value in reading "chapter books". More bang for your buck (or more ballots for your effort). He focused on Harry Potter, and I became well acquainted with Junie B. Jones and her very difficult life.
The night before the twinnies first day of Grade One, we had read the children 101 books/chapters. That number seemed kinda made up to me. So, I woke the children up and read them 2 more chapters of Junie B. Jones. Dan and I congratulated ourselves for reading 103 books/chapters.
And then we noticed our mistake.
The school didn't award ballots based on quantity. There would be one ballot awarded for each 20 minutes of reading. AHHHH! Dan suggested that I take our list and do it over again according to the school's specifications. I calmly explained to Dan that I would not be doing the list over again (well, maybe not calmly, but I only swore once).
Off to school the twinnies went with their lists.
A week later, the twinnies come home from school thrilled to bits! Their "prize" is to be Principal (Bethie) and Vice-Principal (Katie) for a day!!!
I was ecstatic! I had done right by my little girls. They got the benefit of lots of reading during the summer (sorry, I can't give you the exact amount of minutes, but quite a lot) AND they get a fun day at school. AND the Principal (and their teacher) is sure to think that I am the most wonderful mother in the world.
I congratulated myself at how well this Summer Reading Contest had turned out. And then I overheard Bethie and Katie dreaming up some new "rules" that they are going to enforce when they have Executive Power. Sigh. This may end badly...